She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
