Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
