I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
