It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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