I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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