God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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