Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
