we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
