No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
