If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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