We're facebook friends in real life
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
