Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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