Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
