It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
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At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
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I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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