She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
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i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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