Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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