I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
