Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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