you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
