Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
