So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
