I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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