did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
