Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
