I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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