I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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