What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
