but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
