Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
