i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
