fuck your aforementioned shoe
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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