I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
