I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
