Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I wish you could order shots online.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
