I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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