I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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