never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
