he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize