why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
