8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
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They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
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well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
If I die, sorry about rent.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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