Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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