Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
