you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
