For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize