I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
