I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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