Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
