dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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