Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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