i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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