a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
