That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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