spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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