I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
