some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
