i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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