i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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