Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
