Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
