marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
