dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
