I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
