Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Randomize
