the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.